My story is nothing short of miraculous. I was an alcoholic, an addict, and a prostitute. And now, I’ve been clean and sober for 13 years. When I turned 18 years old, my life changed.
I was tired of always taking care of my younger siblings. It seemed that was all I knew. I didn’t seem to have a choice or a voice in the matter. I sucked it up and took care of my younger siblings. As I was growing up, I saw the importance of graduating from High School. And I did. I knew when I turned 18 I would move out and take control of my own life. I had an expectancy of my future life to find love, happiness, and the freedom to make my own decisions. My hope was big.
I thought I could find love by having sex with men. I thought for sure that would satisfy me and lead to love. It backfired in such a huge way. I hoped that the next experience would be the great love I was looking for. Sex with men led to drugs and prostitution. In the meantime, I was hit, abused, and taken advantage of. This is not how I imagined things would be for me.
I realize now that I was looking for someone to love me when I didn’t love myself. I realize now that these abusive men reflected my negative self. Now I know that when you love yourself you don’t let others disrespect you and take advantage of you. You set limits. I have had to learn that I am worthy to set limits on disrespectful behavior and negative attitudes directed at me. I stand up for myself now. Now I believe that I am loved by God, that I am a child of God, and I am made in God’s image.
I got to church regularly but it wasn’t until I was sober about 6 years that I started going to meetings. I daily practice serenity.